My wife says she is bored of sex

Published: Dec 13, 2019, 05:18 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I am not bored of it and have always enjoyed it with her, so this came as a surprise because she had never given me any indication of losing interest before

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr loveI have been married for five years and my wife recently told me she was bored of sex. I am not bored of it and have always enjoyed it with her, so this came as a surprise because she had never given me any indication of losing interest before. I don't know if this is because of something I am doing physically, or because she is starting to get tired of me. I am worried because I don't know if this is a sign that our marriage is starting to fail. What should I do?

A loss of physical intimacy isn't necessarily a sign of someone losing interest in a relationship. If your wife is bored with sex, it may simply mean that she wants things to change in the bedroom. This is more normal than you think, especially with people who have been together for a while. Why not speak to a counsellor and work on improving your sex life? Speak to your wife and tell her what your fears are too, so she can talk about her expectations. Don't assume the worst without talking about this first. Sex could get boring for you too. Spicing things up may renew your relationship in ways that are good for you both.

My boyfriend and I had a huge fight around a week ago, and he hasn't messaged me since. He used to message within 24 hours earlier, and we would get back to normal quickly. I don't know if this means he has split up with me, because we said some pretty nasty things to each other. I am now afraid to message him and ask. Please help.

Why are you afraid of reaching out when that is the only way of fixing this? If you have both said nasty things, isn't this just a battle of egos? If he won't say something, why don't you be the bigger person and ask? Don't assume this has ended just because neither of you wants to pick up the phone.

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