My wife speaks to strange men late into the night
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My problem is quite complicated and I'm not sure if I should change myself and my thinking, or if the other person needs to change. I am a 32-year-old married for over three years. Things were good for the first seven to eight months, when problems started to creep in. My wife befriends strangers on Facebook and chats with them for long hours when I am at work. She is inclined towards good-looking guys and even flirts with them, from what I have seen of her Facebook messages. She has more male friends than female ones, although I don't have a problem with that. She used to speak to a guy for long hours, often late into the night. This went on for five or six months, and I even saw a few messages from her saying she missed him. The guy was married, too. I asked for a clarification and we fought a lot. I threatened the guy, too, and our relationship started to crumble. Whenever we fight, this situation comes up and she is quite foul-mouthed. I wanted to avoid these things, but she keeps having long conversations with guys. When she speaks to them, she goes to the balcony or shuts her room. When I ask about it, she says they are just friends and fights with me. I can't understand this. I am thinking of having an extramarital affair, so we can pretend to be married, even though things are messed up. Please let me know where I am going wrong. Do I need to change my thinking? I am depressed and there is no growth in my career or life.
I don't think you're wrong at all. There are serious problems here. The sooner you and your wife speak to a counsellor, the better your chances of saving your marriage. She must agree that there is a problem, of course, or there isn't much hope. This isn't something anyone can solve without intervention by a professional.
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