'My wife wants me to turn a blind eye to her affair'

Oct 29, 2018, 06:15 IST | Dr Love

My wife was behaving very strangely over the past few months, so I left my phone on record mode at home and found that she was having an extramarital affair with a boy from our neighbourhood who is around 28

'My wife wants me to turn a blind eye to her affair'

Dr. LoveMy wife and I are both 52 and we have two sons, 27 and 22, settled in their respective careers abroad. My wife is very beautiful and looks like she is still in her thirties. She was behaving very strangely over the past few months, so I left my phone on record mode at home and found that she was having an extramarital affair with a boy from our neighbourhood who is around 28. She went with him to a hotel for a three-day stay and, when I confronted her, admitted that this had been going on for two years. She wants me to continue the way things are, or has threatened to elope, which will ruin our family's reputation and our children's careers. She says she will commit suicide if I refuse and implicate me in the suicide note. Her lover spoke to me too and has threatened me with physical harm if I keep confronting her or restrain her from going out with him whenever they want to. I believe this is a criminal act on their part, but I can't do a thing because I worry about my children's careers and my reputation. I have begun drinking heavily and think of suicide often. Kindly advise me on what I can do about this situation.
- Rohan R
You can't write off your life or happiness because of the fear of losing your reputation. You are the victim here, not the perpetrator of anything. How can anything your wife do affect your children's careers abroad? There will be some trauma, of course, because the end of a family is always traumatic, but this isn't something that should prevent you from discussing it with other members of your family. Your children are both adults and deserve to know, especially given the nature of your wife's threats. Any physical threat against you is a criminal act. I suggest you speak to your children, friends or close relatives instead of turning to alcohol, which is never a solution.

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