My wife's mom fakes illness every week!

Updated: 20 October, 2020 07:35 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I don't resent my wife going to visit her mother, but I don't like being lied to and this is leading to some resentment against them. How do I resolve this?

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years and, all through that time, my mother-in-law makes my wife visit her every week by saying she is ill. At first, I thought she was genuinely unwell, but I now think she is just faking her illness to make her daughter spend time with her. I don't resent my wife going to visit her mother, but I don't like being lied to and this is leading to some resentment against them. How do I resolve this?
It's great that your wife spends time with her mother, because that is what healthy relationships between parents and children are all about. If you think your mother-in-law is lying, try and understand why you believe she has to resort to this. Would she have to if your wife could visit her any time? Would your wife not want to visit her mother if she were perfectly okay? People don't always do things unless they have good reason to. Also, it must be said that your mother-in-law may really be ill, given that you haven't mentioned what qualifies you to evaluate the state of her health. If this bothers you, why not tell your wife how you feel and give her a chance to share her opinion?

It has been two years since I broke up with my boyfriend and I have had two relationships since then, neither of which has made it possible for me to forget him. How long will take me to move on? Did I make a huge mistake by ending that relationship?
Time makes us forget why we have made decisions, by focusing on the good and conveniently forgetting about the bad. Each of us deals with grief differently, and you may simply take longer to get over him than other people do. It's normal. Think about why that relationship ended, why it made sense at the time, and allow yourself as much time as you need.

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First Published: 20 October, 2020 06:02 IST

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