Nawazuddin Siddiqui opens up on his depression days: I felt as if I am going to die soon

Updated: Jun 18, 2020, 07:56 IST | mid-day online correspondent | Mumbai

Nawazuddin Siddiqui opened up on how he was depressed and how he used to struggle to get a square meal, and felt like he was about to die.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui. Image sourced from mid-day archives
Nawazuddin Siddiqui. Image sourced from mid-day archives

Nawazuddin Siddiqui one of the most successful versatile actors we have in the industry today. The actor who made his Bollywood debut in the year 1999, with a small role in the Aamir Khan starrer Sarfarosh has been successful in making his mark in the entertainment industry.

But little did anyone know that he would also share his tough and troubled times as an actor and how he was depressed and how he used to struggle to get a square meal, and felt like he was about to die. Speaking to Hindustan Times, the actor said, "I have always had mazdoor-like hardworking, fighting spirit. I don't think that I am bigger than them. I had the same intentions as theirs. I didn't dream of becoming a star. My only intention was to survive and earn for the next meal. It continued for 10 years. I did odd jobs and walked to my friend's house for food. There were difficult times but we were happy even then. But yes, I did feel depressed at times because of lack of work. Depression and frustration start when you dream big."

The actor further said that there were multiple times when he would not eat for hours due to the stress. "Because I wasn't eating well, so I was getting weak and my hair started falling off. I used to get tired after walking 2 kilometres. I felt as if I am going to die soon. Because of which I used to stay out all day to see the world because I didn't know how many days will I survive."

"Success doesn't guarantee happiness. If happiness isn't in your nature, you will be unhappy even if you have the world", the actor concluded.

The debate on depression has reinvigorated after the death of actor Sushant Singh Rajput, who was reportedly suffering from depression. The 34-year-old actor was found dead at his sixth-floor apartment in Bandra (West). While the police have confirmed that after the suicide, no 'note' was found from his residence. 

SSR's colleagues and friends from the film and television industry have been expressing their shock and sorrow over his death on social media. Right from television to Bollywood celebrities, everyone condoled his demise. On June 15, Kriti Sanon, Shraddha Kapoor, Rajkummar Rao, Vivek Oberoi, and Varun Sharma paid their respects at his last rites that were held at Vile Parle's Pawan Hans crematorium.

Before Nawazuddin, Shilpa Shetty Kundra's sister Shamita Shetty had shared a heart-wrenching social media post which shared her plight of fighting depression.

View this post on Instagram

Peace , Positivity and Love to all ❤ï¸Â

A post shared by Shamita Shetty (@shamitashetty_official) onJun 14, 2020 at 9:46pm PDT

Actor Ronit Roy also spoke in an interview about how he was depressed and took to alcohol to fight his inner panic. The actor, right with his debut in 1992, Jaan Tere Naam, delivered a silver jubilee film at the box-office, and despite that, he barely had any work. He poured his heart out on what possibly went wrong post the staggering success of his first film.

Veteran actress Deepti Naval also looked back on her struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts in the early 1990s. Naval used her Facebook page to open up about her struggle through a poem that she wrote during that period while paying a tribute to Sushant.

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