Not happy with him, so how do I end this?

Updated: 09 November, 2020 07:38 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

You can't resolve it unless you both air your grievances. To blame each other is easy, but you will both have to make changes to how you communicate if you want this relationship to last. One person can't pull all the weight.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

I have been in a relationship with a guy for almost 3 years, and there has been no extended period of happiness in all that time. We get along for a while, have a great time, and then things change, and everything starts to be horrible. We keep thinking of ways to fix our many problems, but don't really do anything about them. I often wonder if I should just end it, because I don't think either of us gets anything out of this anymore, but he doesn't do anything either, so we end up staying together. How do I just move on?
You are aware of how things stand between the two of you and seem to know that he feels the same way. If you are both unhappy, and are sticking together simply because neither of you wants to take the trouble of ending things, how long do you think this can continue? When does the unhappiness end and resentment begin? Where do you both see yourselves in five years? I suggest you have a conversation with him as soon as possible and focus on yourself if he isn't interested in making changes to his own life. You deserve happiness in a relationship, because that is the whole point of being with someone. Why go through life with the wrong person just because you are afraid of change?

My girlfriend consistently tells me that I am wrong about most things involving us both. I am always the bad guy, even if I think I haven't done anything wrong. At first, I used to apologise, but now I think this is just a one-sided argument because she refuses to take any responsibility for her own actions. How do we resolve this?
You can't resolve it unless you both air your grievances. To blame each other is easy, but you will both have to make changes to how you communicate if you want this relationship to last. One person can't pull all the weight.

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First Published: 09 November, 2020 06:03 IST

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