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Of Aadhaar cards and chowkidars

Updated on: 01 April,2019 06:36 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Fiona Fernandez | fiona.fernandez@mid-day.com

Our favourite sutradhaars are in the grip of the upcoming general elections, and have only the city on their mind

Of Aadhaar cards and chowkidars

Fiona Fernandez"All set, Pheroze? I hope you are ready for the big match. The dates have already been announced, if you've been catching up on the news," Lady Flora quizzed her walking companion. She was always one step ahead of her Parsi friend who seemed to have taken his retirement from public service a bit too seriously.


"Er...what dates, Lady?" Sir PM enquired, trying his best to not sound uninformed. "Well, there are so many sporting dates to remember…this abridged version tournament for cricket called the IPL, and soon after, my favourite, the World Cup in England and Wales. It's a packed summer."


"My gosh, Pheroze! You're standing right here in the heart of the city's civic action, and you haven't caught on to the buzz? You're no different from some of those film actors who live on another planet" Lady Flora was positively shocked by his cricketing distractions. Sir PM managed a sheepish smile. He was clearly caught on the back foot. "I'm referring to the general elections. Haven't you seen the banners and posters all over the place? Aren't you looking forward to seeing who will come to power? It's unfortunate that I can only be a spectator and watch the drama of this great Indian phenomenon from my pedestal. My voting rights are back in the Isle of Portland — so I am grateful to at least get this amazing ringside view," she added. Cleary, Lady Flora was in the mood to track every move and vote at the upcoming elections, Sir PM had gathered by now.


But before he could come up with a relevant fact to save face, she fired another missile — "And Pheroze, since you clearly have been napping all this while, I do hope you intend to cast your vote this time. Is your Aadhaar card in order?" It wasn't turning out to be Sir PM's day. "Lady, you see, I was…I was planning to have Viegas accompany me to one of those centres. So much paperwork; I've gotten rusty with age." Lady Flora wasn't pleased at her friend's casual approach to the elections, especially since he was at the forefront of democracy, hailed as the father of Bombay's municipality in the early 1900s. "Get that done, and soon. I'll follow up with Viegas." She was having none of this.

Seeing her visibly upset self, he decided it was time to impress her with his knowledge of the current goings on — "Lady, may I tell you something? It is not going to be as one-sided as you'd imagine, especially here in our Bombay. I've been told that many Bombaywallahs aren't exactly thrilled with the current government's vision as far as infrastructure goes. The government and civic gods of the city gave the nod to simultaneous (and very ambitious) projects that have resulted in more than half the city being dug up or covered with barricades. Plus, the environment around us — in our forests and mangroves — is also under threat due to this rampant work in the name of 'progress'. There are multiple areas where existing infrastructure is crumbling, as you saw most recently with the CST bridge collapse. Our city is choking on land and along its waters. There is a lot to put into perspective when I ink my finger." Lady Flora was wowed by his comeback act. She had misjudged him.

"Fill me in, Pheroze. So what alternatives do we have? Is the opposition in a position to offer better solutions and do they have the bandwidth to lift Bombay out of this mess?" Sir PM took a few moments and replied, "Well, they claim they can bring about change. But we need more facts and solutions though. Words must be followed by action. Bombaywallahs are not a dumb bunch of voters. They work hard, commute long distances, and pay their taxes. They deserve better. The voter must weigh all possible sides before they cast their vote on that all-important button on the EVM machine, which, by the way, I find quite cool."

They had returned to Lady Flora's pedestal. It had been a particularly different walk, one that was filled with plenty of stock-taking and reminiscing about their dear city.
Sir PM halted and turned towards his old friend, "What is your wish from this election, Lady?" "Like any other diehard Bombaywallah, I wish for good, honest governance and a safer, greener city," she answered. "And, you, Pheroze?"

"I echo your thoughts one hundred per cent. But I have one concern. I sincerely hope that whoever comes to power doesn't insist that I add the prefix 'chowkidar' to my name just because I happen to be standing outside the BMC building."

mid-day's Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city's sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana
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