Once Upon a Time in Mumbai Dobaara

Aug 17, 2013, 02:05 IST | Hemal Ashar

Some time ago, this paper had run a popular column called Once Upon a Time in Mumbai (OUATIM) when Ekta Kapoor had released her film of the same name

With the sequel to OUATIM hitting the screens now, here is the sequel to that Once Upon a Time in Mumbai column, not Ekta Kapoor but MiDDAY ishtyle.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbai…

>> Haircuts cost Rd 20 to Rs 50 at the most and if a Chinese hairdresser charged you R 75, she was likely to have an irked client ask her: what are your scissors made of: gold?

>> You got one kind of popcorn at movie theatres not a mix of caramel and plain, with people shouting in the queue — get me plain, no get me caramel, get me cheese, actually get me a mix! Mostly though you bought A-1 samosas and the butter paper packets crackled as irritatingly as mobile phones ringing in a movie theatre these days

>> If you wanted to contact somebody you simply called them to speak to them and did not ‘ping’ them like they do these days and the blackberry was simply a kaala jamun to eat not the device that it is now

>> Cars were Fiats and Ambassadors (many of the latter in white or black colour) and the occupants of the latter were generally more important or tried to look more important than those that used Fiats

>> You were the ultimate if you wore Smash t-shirts and FUs jeans and nobody seemed to have heard of Gucci or Ralph Lauren Polo; from FUS you graduated to Levis bought by your cousin who was an air-hostess and flew for Air-India

>> People did not travel abroad extensively like they do now, they sometimes went to the airport and picked up an accent

>> Therapists and counsellors with expertise on potholes did not tell frazzled commuters that there are two sides to potholes — one, you can sink in them, on the other hand, enjoy a dip and a free mud pack beauty treatment as cars splash mud all over you

>> It was only the onions, not onion prices that could move you to tears

>> Apples and blackberries were fruits, not devices

>> In movies, one heard songs like: Pal, pal, dil ke paas, tum rehti ho -- not Tere liye his signal tod taad key, aaya dilliwalli girlfriend chhod chhaad ke

>> Mercedes cars (mostly for some unknown reason these were painted silver) were used by actors like Iftikhaar and Pran. In real life if you saw a Mercedes on the road you went: ooooh look a Merc, must be some actor yaar

>> You put mehendi in your hair to camouflage the grey, today you can put yellow in your hair to try and look blonde. This may be to camouflage grey but it may also be to look foreign for some foreign/strange reason or to check out the veracity of the phrase: blondes have more fun. Ladies may also check out the truth of: gentlemen prefer blondes. Or why just ladies, even some gents may try to check out the truth of: gentlemen prefer blondes… that's getting into gay rights territory, some serious stuff, and since this is about levity, we will leave it at that.

>> There were no malls but there were mills, maybe that is why young people wore more clothes on their person, because of the abundance of material being made...

Talking of material, you never read immaterial stuff like this and laughed silently -- instead, you were so ashamed of doing such things, oh this is so much timepass, yaar and wrapped your half-eaten sev puri in columns like this, and trashed them.  

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