Our relationship seems shallow
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I am very confused about the relationship I am in. We have been together for almost a year now, but we still feel like strangers. My boyfriend is a nice guy, and we like spending time together, but there isn't anything substantial about us. What I mean is, I don't really know him very well despite spending so much time with him. We chat about politics and the world, but he doesn't share much about his own life. I only know facts about his family and friends, not about how he feels about them. He is very guarded in his responses to any of my questions, and it sometimes feels as if he is with me simply because he needs to tick some kind of box about having a girlfriend. I don't even feel like we will last long because of how shallow this sometimes feels. Should I just end it? Or am I looking for meaning when I should simply enjoy being with him?
People get into relationships for all kinds of reasons. Some do it because they are lonely, others because they want to understand themselves a little better. Have you ever thought about why you got into a relationship with him and what you hoped to get out of it? If his presence or absence won't make much of a difference to your life, it always makes sense to walk away, because a meaningful connection with someone who genuinely cares about you can be life-changing. As for your comment about looking for meaning, it doesn't really sound as if you are enjoying being with him.
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