'She always chats with her pals, never with me'

Nov 01, 2018, 07:32 IST | Dr Love

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'She always chats with her pals, never with me'

Dr LoveHow can I convince my girlfriend to spend a little less time on the phone with her friends? She chats with them a lot more than she chats with me and I’m sick of it. What should I do?
She’s an adult with a life of her own. If you feel neglected, and she refuses to do anything about it, why can’t you tell her why you feel this way and allow her to explain? If she chats with friends, does that make you feel inadequate or insecure? Does she cut you out of her life? This isn’t as big an issue as you are making it out to be, because it just seems as if you aren’t telling her why you feel this way.

I was in a relationship for the past three years. We were ready to marry, but his family refused to grant us permission. We tried speaking to them in order to convince them, but they have refused because I belong to a different caste. He is getting engaged next month because his parents are forcing him into it. I have tried to move on but can’t. We can’t go against his parents. Please advise me on what I should do.
— Monika N
If he can’t stand up to his parents and allows the idea of caste to prevent him from being with someone he has spent three years with, maybe you should ask yourself if this is someone worth being with. Relationships are about commitment and standing up for each other. Your caste does not define who you are or what you mean to him. If he and his parents can’t see that, this isn’t the sort of family you should worry about marrying into. As for not being able to get over him, it’s amazing what time can do. Allow him to make up his mind and, if he decides to go ahead with the engagement next month, give yourself some time to grieve and then move on. You will manage just fine.

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