'She broke off our friendship rather rudely'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I made a new friend at work in June last year and we worked on the same project until March this year. We used to share everything with each other, chat often and liked each other a lot. She quit the job in March and joined another company. While we were working together, she used to call two or three times daily, and I would call her often, too. We are both married, and her husband knows we are good friends. In June, she told me her husband didn't like us chatting with each other as much as we used to, so I stopped calling. A month after that, she contacted me for some help with investments, and I helped her out, after which we began speaking regularly again. A week ago, she stopped responding to my messages and calls, and finally told me rudely that I should not call or message again. She didn't give me a reason. I agreed and hung up but want to give her a rude answer. What do you suggest?
— Mukesh P
What exactly will the rude response do? It may make you feel better, probably because you feel humiliated in some way, but being the better person is a preferable option, because you don't know what her reasons are. If she has been a good friend and has been compelled to sever her relationship with you for reasons beyond her control, she is probably channelling her anger towards the only person she can, which happens to be you. I suggest you wait for a while to try and process this, instead of thinking of ways to retaliate. At the risk of sounding like a spiritual godman — and I know it seems as if we already have way too many of those around — hate tends to come rather easily to us. Forgiveness is a lot harder but is always something we should aspire to. Friends may always come and go. How does this change your life in any way?
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