She doesn't enjoy having sex with me anymore

Jul 03, 2018, 07:00 IST | Dr Love

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She doesn't enjoy having sex with me anymore
Illustration/ Ravi Jadhav

Dr. LoveWe have been married for four years now and my wife rarely wants to have sex anymore. I have done everything I can, but she has no interest whatsoever. I have tried to explain to her that it is important for us to have sex because physical intimacy makes our bond stronger, but she finds it boring and makes me feel as if I am forcing her. This is becoming a huge problem because I still have sexual urges and believe she should at least try and enjoy it for my sake, if not for herself. How can I make her see things from my point of view? How can we get back to having sex regularly like we used to?
It's fairly normal for sex to get boring after a while, not because you are less interesting as a person now, but because it takes an effort to spice things up. It can easily become monotonous for your partner, even if you continue to find it enjoyable, so I suggest you ask what you can do to make things interesting for her. If you can't come up with a solution, and she has no suggestions, it may make sense for you both to speak to a professional therapist. Physical intimacy certainly is important for the well-being of your marriage, so you should ask your wife to consider that, too, if she refuses to speak to a therapist. If things are difficult just four years into this, also ask her how she expects it to get easier as the two of you get older.

Why should I always listen to what my boyfriend has to say just because he's older? Isn't it extremely unfair for him to assume I don't know what I'm talking about just because of the age difference?
It is unfair and you're right. Age has nothing to do with whether or not your opinion matters, and the sooner he understands that, the better it will be for your relationship.

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