She doesn't want a serious relation

Updated: Aug 07, 2019, 08:31 IST | DR Love

When I sent her a message asking about the possibility of a second date, she thanked me for a great time, and said she couldn't commit

She doesn't want a serious relation
Illustration: Uday Mohite

Dr. LoveI was introduced to a lovely girl a few weeks ago, and we spoke for hours about what we wanted out of life. I really thought she was perfect for me and felt as if she shared that opinion. The next morning, however, when I sent her a message asking about the possibility of a second date, she thanked me for a great time, and said she couldn't commit because she wasn't looking for a serious relationship at all. I'm not sure if I did something wrong. Should I forget about her?

She's being honest, so why not ask her out knowing she isn't looking for something serious? Why does your need to have a serious relationship — based on just one date, I might add — have to drive what this means for both of you, especially if you had a great time? My advice is that you reach out to her, tell her you respect her wishes, and say that you are more than happy to slow down and take things at any pace she chooses. If she wants another date, she may reach out. If she doesn't, you may simply have to wait until she's ready to see you again. There's nothing else you can do about this.

My ex-girlfriend works at the same office as I do, and it is making things very hard for me. I like my job and think my future here is secure, but her presence is making me consider quitting. What should I do?

This depends entirely upon your priorities, doesn't it? You say things are hard for you, but don't specify if this is just the way you feel or if she is doing anything to make things hard. If it's a question of dealing with the end of a relationship, do keep in mind that time heals everything. If you are willing to lose out on a good job, try and evaluate the pros and cons very carefully. Think about how long it's been since this ended as well.

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