She doesn't want to talk about our future
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My girlfriend says she loves me a lot, but continues to change the topic whenever I ask about the future of our relationship. She doesn't want to commit to taking this to the next stage and I don't know where I stand with her. We have been together for a year now and I would like some sort of commitment, but she doesn't even want to talk about this. What should I do?
If she's not ready, she's making it quite obvious. She hasn't abandoned you and continues to tell you that she loves you, which is her way of asking for more time. You can't force someone to have a conversation they are not ready to have. I suggest you look at the big picture and wait until she feels the same way you do, about a lifelong commitment. It takes people time to make such a big decision.
I like an ex-colleague of mine. We exchange messages, jokes and other random things, but I think she knows that I am falling in love with her. She replies very rarely, so I assumed she wasn't interested and asked her to block my number a while ago. She didn't do that though. When I check WhatsApp, I see that she reads all my messages, even though she doesn't respond. I am confused about this. What should I do?
— Sanjeev S
There are two possibilities here: She's not sure about her feelings, or she's sure, but doesn't want to stop being in touch with you because she doesn't like the idea of blocking anyone. If you want her to block you, and she doesn't, you always have the prerogative of blocking her yourself, which you haven't done because you probably continue to hope that she will change her mind. Why don't you try not sending her a message for a few days and see if she initiates a conversation? If she doesn't, maybe it's time to accept that she just isn't interested and move on.
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