She is the love of my life, yet I can't commit

Updated: 31 October, 2020 06:48 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I can't imagine being with her again though, because I also know I will not be able to give her the kind of guarantees that she wants and expects

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI am a 26-year old man and have been commitment-phobic all my life. I had a great relationship with someone for over two years, which ended only because I didn't want to take it further. I regret it every day, because I know she was the love of my life and I will never find someone like her again. I can't imagine being with her again though, because I also know I will not be able to give her the kind of guarantees that she wants and expects. What should I do? She doesn't even respond to my messages on Facebook anymore.

On the one hand, you know exactly what the problem is and why things didn't work out between the two of you. On the other, you also believe that you are incapable of doing what is necessary to fix this and make it possible. Why are you surprised if she doesn't respond, given your inability to give her what she wants? Accept that you are unwilling to change and recognise that not being with you is her prerogative. Also accept that if you want to be with the love of your life, you will simply have to do what it takes to make it happen.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three months and I recently lost my temper with him during an argument. He was shocked because he had never seen that side of me. He has been very wary of me since then and is trying his best not to provoke me. The problem is, I don't want him to be so afraid that he doesn't be who he really is around me. We were both invited to a party this weekend and he is making excuses for not being able to go, because I believe he wants to avoid any sort of confrontation. How do I resolve this?

Why not tell him that relationships are about two people accepting each other for who they are, a mix of good and bad?

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First Published: 31 October, 2020 07:00 IST

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