She meets me only when I'm upbeat

Updated: May 28, 2019, 07:13 IST | Dr Love

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She meets me only when I'm upbeat

Dr LoveI am a 23-year old guy and have been struggling with depression for a few years now. I began dating a girl a few months ago, and told her about my condition. She seemed okay with it, but I increasingly get the feeling that she doesn't really care about how I am doing. When I am depressed, she doesn't talk about it and avoids me. When I am fine, she meets me and we go out. It feels as if she is with me only when it is convenient for her. I don't know if my depression makes me cynical about this. How do I tell if she is being genuine?
Dealing with depression is difficult not just for the person suffering from it, but for family and friends too. There is no way of evaluating whether or not your girlfriend doesn't care, because you will judge everything and everyone from a prism of pessimism, which is quite common. What you can do is seek professional help to deal with this, because therapy can go a long way towards not just helping you cope, but also towards making it possible for you to look at your relationships with people from a fresh perspective. If your girlfriend is with you only when it is convenient for her, it won't be difficult for you to figure this out within a few months. I would give her the benefit of doubt until then though, because she is still with you. Maybe meeting you only when you seem okay is all she can handle at the moment, and maybe she leaves you alone when you're depressed because she assumes you need your time and space. I would also speak to her about this openly, because it's easy to misinterpret someone's action and jump to conclusions. Dealing with depression can take years and every individual deals with it differently. It has just been a few months, so why not give her and this relationship a chance by waiting some more?

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