She thinks I treat her like an afterthought
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My girlfriend says I am obsessed with work and treat her like an afterthought, which is not true. How can I change her mind?
She must have a reason for saying this, so find out what that is and prove her wrong. Actions define us more than our words do.
I ended my relationship with my girlfriend six months ago, after being with her for four years. We decided it wasn't working out because we weren't seeing eye to eye on anything. Since it ended, my family and friends keep telling me that I have made the biggest mistake of my life. They say I have thrown away a great relationship. They don't know what it was like, so I can't convince them that the end was mutual. I have told them that our decision was well thought-out and based on a number of serious issues, but they still tell me I should call her and try to make it work. They think I am letting my ego ruin the possibility of us getting back together again. I don't want to succumb to pressure and start this just to make them happy, but I am also confused. What if they are right and I was wrong?
The only people who understand what goes on in a relationship are the people in it. Your family and friends may mean well, of course, and have your best interests at heart. Being swayed by them, however, means that you are denying the reality of your relationship with your ex-girlfriend. The two of you discussed this, saw that it wasn't working out, and chose to wilfully end it. If she has doubts, she may contact you. If you don't have doubts, but are simply worried about making a mistake because people around you say you are, you are suppressing your own voice of reason. Put yourself first, think about how you and no one else feels about this, and then proceed. Don't let peer pressure define how you make your decisions.
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