Should I have an extra-marital affair?

Updated: Aug 08, 2019, 07:16 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been married for four years now and have developed a crush on a common friend of ours. He is married, too, but I think he likes me because I have caught him staring at me a few times. I don't know if I should act upon this impulse and ask him out because I don't want to embarrass myself. I love my husband, but there doesn't seem to be any excitement in our lives anymore, which is what makes this so tempting. What should I do?
Adultery is usually not the first choice for anyone who is bored in a relationship. You claim to love your husband, but don't want to work hard enough to save the relationship you have with him. That is what you should focus on, instead of worrying about being embarrassed. There are legal as well as psychological implications related to an extramarital affair that will affect not just you and your husband but the other man and his wife, too. If there is no excitement, why not speak to your husband and evaluate if your marriage is worth saving before going down a path you may regret? There is nothing so broken that cannot be fixed with time, patience and love. And if that doesn't help, there is always professional help available if you are willing to try it.

I insulted my boyfriend a lot during our last fight and he hasn't spoken to me since. I know I was wrong because what I said was very nasty, but I can't seem to find a way of apologising because he won't even accept my calls now. How do I fix this?
You seem to have done a good job of explaining how you feel awful and accept your mistake. Why can't you message him and give him time and space to accept or reject your apology? It's his prerogative, of course, given that he was the one you insulted. You did the crime, so learn to do the time as well.

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