Should I tell him that I don't enjoy kissing him?

Updated: Sep 08, 2018, 09:52 IST | Dr Love

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Should I tell him that I don't enjoy kissing him?

Dr. LoveShould I tell my boyfriend that I don't enjoy kissing him? It will hurt him a lot.
Without honesty, your relationship will not last.

I had a very colourful life before my marriage and was in a committed relationship with a satisfying sex life. Things did not go as I thought and I ended up marrying someone who is not keeping me sexually satisfied at all. I have tried all possible solutions. His kisses are plastic, the sex is robotic, and hugs are forced. I spoke to his parents and mine. After 2 years of marriage, he half-heartedly showed up at a doctor's clinic and didn't follow up on that visit. If I do not insist, he can survive without sex for months at a time. I am someone who needs it almost three times a week. I feel like opting out of marriage because he is not taking care of my basic need. I never tried masturbating before marriage, but do it almost every day now. Everything else is fine, except for this aspect that feels very messy. What do you suggest I do?
— PA
Physical intimacy is obviously an important and integral aspect of any relationship, and you have every right to discuss it with him if you feel as if your needs are not being met. It is also important to see things from his perspective though, because it's obvious that his idea of what to expect from this relationship is different from yours. If he is satisfied and you're not, you should both speak to a counsellor to try and arrive at a place where you can both be happy. You owe it to each other to do more and make this work. Speak to him, ask him to consider meeting a professional, and be honest with each other if you want this to work in the long run. To not deal with it now is to invite all kinds of potential problems a few years down the line.

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