Six steps to a happy sex life

Jun 07, 2012, 07:05 IST | ANI

Feeling shy to make that first move in the bedroom?

1. Bag Some Bedroom Magic with Before-Play
No surprise that women blame a lack of romance for a lack of sex! Time to nurture "before-play" between you �if you've had a row, or are stressed after work, let him know you need some cuddles and affection. Don't expect him to be a mind reader - men aren't good at that. Ask him for a compliment, too. Men respond to straight talking so tell him that feeling appreciated and loved-up gets you in the mood for proper foreplay, reports The Sun. Having before-play creates the right mood to get turned on. So include things like always having mood music ready to play, and candles to light your supper - even if it's a takeaway!

Sex and relationships, Six steps to a happy sex life

2. Get Steamy!

Time to turn up the heat. Why not suggest having a candlelit bath or sexy shower together. Subtle candlelight flatters your figure! Take time lathering each other up with some sexy-scented shower gel. Have a couple warm towels ready to dry each other off before you tumble into bed. When you indulge each other in steamy little pleasures it'll give you loads of ideas for more sensual tricks to tempt each other into bed. You could offer to wash his hair and caress his scalp gently. Show him a light touch and then ask him to return the favour. Once you're out of the shower dare him to paint your fingernails. As he strokes each of your fingers gently it produces the love hormone oxytocin in your bodies.

Sex and relationships, Six steps to a happy sex life

3. Get Rude with Food!

It's crucial to make sex as easy-as-can-be when you're a busy/tired couple. So grab opportunities like getting a bit rude with food together. It's super sexy to hand-feed each other little tidbits or to spoon something delicious like chocolate mousse into each other's mouths. Or why not have a rude-food feast in bed on a Saturday afternoon? Who says you have to eat at the table! This is the perfect setting for drizzling some sweet honey down your cleavage for him to lick off - forget about putting it on toast!

Sex and relationships, Six steps to a happy sex life

4. Letting Him Know What You Want

Believe me he wants to know what turns you on! If you're feeling a bit shy then show him rather than tell him what to do. Take his hand and guide it gently around your pleasure-zones. Pause where it feels fab saying, "I love it when you touch me here." Also when he happens to touch you just right "big him up" - men love praise so heap it on him and he'll do more of that feel-good foreplay. If he's a bit heavy-handed (true of so many men!) use this trick � take his finger and gently suck and lick it - then tell him that's the sort of pressure you love. And definitely use a warm and sensual voice to encourage him. Crikey, even just hearing your little sex-sighs will make him all ears! So use those little sighs and moans to communicate your pleasure.

5. How To Find Out What He Wants!

He might be a bit shy to tell you what he likes. So ask, ask and ask again! A good way to ask is to give him some options. Say something like, "do you prefer it when I stroke or squeeze you here, and more gently or firmly?" This'll give him the confidence to be honest. If he needs extra encouragement tell him you find it exciting being told what to do. Turn this into a playful sex-game where he's the boss and you're his sexy PA and he's going to dictate to you what he wants done!

6. Your Private Pleasure Pack

Definitely make your sex-life simpler by keeping a little "pleasure pack" in your bedside table. Then when the mood strikes you'll be ready for some frolics with your fella. No annoying searching about for things like your favourite lubricant, condoms, sex toys, blind fold for a kinky sex game, sexy stockings and silky knickers, tissues, massage oils, etc.

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