So scared he will eventually leave me

Updated: May 14, 2020, 04:56 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

He says he is happy the way things are, and I don't know if he doesn't want to take this to the next stage because he likes the idea of being single, or because he doesn't think I am good enough to be his wife

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI am a 28-year old and have been dating a 30-year old guy for around three years now. We are very close and are definitely in love. I would like to marry him, because I really think he is the one for me. He is very clear about not wanting to marry me though. He says he is happy the way things are, and I don't know if he doesn't want to take this to the next stage because he likes the idea of being single, or because he doesn't think I am good enough to be his wife. When I ask him about this, he is never very clear, and I am starting to have doubts about whether I should continue being with him. What if he leaves me a year from now and marries someone else? The thought of how that will break my heart frightens me. What should I do?

If you are afraid of what the future holds, it isn't reason enough to end a relationship that is working for now. Any relationship can fail, irrespective of whether the people involved are married or not. What matters is your ability to accept his decision. All you have to focus on is whether or not you can continue being with him without the promise of a future as a married couple. If you can't deal with that, the sooner you move on, the better.

I have been lying to my girlfriend about alcohol for over a year. She thinks I don't drink it, but I always do when I am out with friends. She likes the fact that I am a teetotaller, which is why I can't be honest with her, but it is starting to bother me all the time. How do I deal with this?

She may like your lie, but that doesn't condone it. Why deal with the awkwardness and potential pain of her finding out that you haven't been honest? If it bothers you, be open about why you did it.

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