'The only thing that heals heartbreak is time'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I ended a relationship in August after 8 months of dating the same guy I had dated three years ago but broke up with because he was too carefree. We got back together last December because I assumed he had changed. Things were fine for 5 months, until June, when he returned from a holiday he had taken alone. Our fights increased, as he was suddenly different. He just didn't seem involved. I tried everything, including taking him to a romantic film and writing him poems, but nothing changed. Eventually, I told him it wasn't working out. That was the day I realised that I loved him a lot though. This has made me lose all the trust I had. What hurts is how he said things to me and I did not stand up for myself. I always let him have his way and now feel like a fool. Whenever I feel like giving him a piece of my mind, I step back. I am not depressed, but it hurts. My feelings are still strong, and they kill me slowly. All I want to do is be free and forget this entire fiasco.
— Angelina F
What you have been through is surprisingly normal for most people. Yes, some people can be emotionally distant. Yes, some people will never reciprocate your feelings. Yes, some people will hurt you and make you feel as if you will never love again. No, it's not the end of the world, despite how clichéd that sounds. It's natural to feel as if your feelings are consuming you, because you haven't had time to deal with your grief yet. It's like someone passing away; the pain may never fully go away, but it gets easier to deal with in time. My advice is to do what you usually do, and wait until you wake up one morning and don't feel the need to think about this man anymore. It will happen. It happens to us all.
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