'Things are going out of my control'

Updated: Jul 15, 2019, 08:36 IST | Dr. Love

She says she studies there. This week, she wants to attend a party.

'Things are going out of my control'
Dr. Love

Dr. LoveMy girlfriend is in university and, lately, has been spending time sleeping at her friend's place. She says she studies there. This week, she wants to attend a party. She is in her final year and things are spiralling out of my reach. I do not trust such processes and do not know what to do.
— ND

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. What processes? And what exactly is the problem if she spends time with friends or attends a party? How is anything spiralling out of control exactly? It sounds as if you have a problem with her doing anything without your presence or permission, neither of which are required because she is an adult capable of making her own decisions. If you have a problem with anything she is doing, why can't you tell her what the problem is and why it bothers you? When you do that, also allow her the courtesy of explaining why she wants to do something. This sounds like a need for control, more than anything else, and relationships that work are about equality, not power struggles.

My ex-girlfriend and I had a horrible break up. She said some mean things and continues to badmouth me among common friends and acquaintances. I haven't said a word because I don't want to air our dirty laundry, but this is getting hard to deal with because it has been six months since our relationship ended and she continues to be nasty.

I think you're already dealing with it quite well by taking the high road. She won't do this forever and, even if she does, there will come a time when friends and acquaintances will tire of it too, assuming they are all capable of making up their own minds. My suggestion is that you ignore it for now and allow time to take its course. She will have to move on at some point.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Email your questions to lovedoc@mid-day.com

Catch up on all the latest Crime, National, International and Hatke news here. Also download the new mid-day Android and iOS apps to get latest updates

Sign up for all the latest news, top galleries and trending videos from Mid-day.com


Janmashtami 2019: What goes behind Dahi Handi preparation in Mumbai?

Related News

This website uses cookie or similar technologies, to enhance your browsing experience and provide personalised recommendations. By continuing to use our website, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. OK