This relationship can never happen

Published: Dec 06, 2019, 05:07 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I can't date anyone because it doesn't make me happy, and I am worried about growing old alone

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been in love with someone for years and know this can never lead to a relationship for a number of reasons. We have serious differences, there are family issues, and the presence of other people in both our lives to ensure we can never be together. I can't seem to be able to let it go though, and this has been affecting my life for a long time. I can't date anyone because it doesn't make me happy, and I am worried about growing old alone. How do I break this habit and learn to accept what I cannot change?

You are self-aware enough to recognise that this isn't going to happen, which is a start in the right direction because you want to move on. Time alone will compel you to do this, because you will reach a point where depriving yourself of a chance at happiness will start to feel unfair. You owe it to yourself to meet new people, because you won't like someone unless you give yourself and them a chance. I know this is easier said than done, of course, but to survive is to not give up.

My boyfriend treats me as if I am some kind of accessory. He doesn't value my opinion or, if he does, it's only if my opinion coincides with his own. He doesn't tell me much about his life unless it involves me doing something for him. I am usually left to myself when we are at a party with his friends, because he is only interested in me when he wants to have sex. I don't even feel like he respects me much, so I don't know why I continue being with him. Should I just end this?

You should, because you are not someone's accessory. You have the right to be treated as an equal and need to respect yourself enough to know when you aren't being accepted as such. He doesn't deserve you and needs to learn how to treat people better.

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