Tinder date has me confused!

Updated: Oct 31, 2019, 05:49 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

She messaged yesterday asking if we could meet again, and I don't know if I should

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI met this girl on Tinder and went on two dates with her. We had a good time, but she kept texting other people while she was with me. I kept getting the feeling that she wasn't completely there, and that she was just dating me while looking for alternatives. She messaged yesterday asking if we could meet again, and I don't know if I should. On the one hand, I like her because she's pretty and interesting. On the other, I can't shake the feeling that she is not really committed to doing anything about this, which makes it a waste of time. What should I do?

She reached out, which means she hasn't abandoned the idea of wanting to spend time with you. If she isn't actually speaking to you while you're on a date, you should call her out on it and point out that it's disrespectful given that you are giving her your full attention. She may be pretty and interesting, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's interested, and you can simply come right out and ask her if she is. You have nothing to lose at this point, so tell her exactly what's on your mind and give her a chance to respond.

My marriage has been failing for a long time, and I have reached a point where I know I have to end it. I don't know if I have the strength to do this though, because moving on frightens me. How do I find the ability to do this?

You can start by putting yourself first for a change and thinking about why this move is important for the rest of your life. Speak to family and friends, who can provide the support you obviously need. If there is no one you know whom you can turn to, speak to a counsellor. This isn't an easy decision to make, so your fear is completely understandable. It is only by letting go of it that you can start to heal though.

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