Want to break off ties with my sister

Updated: Jul 21, 2020, 07:45 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

They aren't speaking, and it's obvious that he hasn't been able to put this episode behind him yet. Why not let him work it out of his system in his own time?

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 24-year old woman and have a sister who is 4 years younger. We used to be close when we were little, but I find it harder to communicate with her because it feels as if she is constantly trying to make me look bad. It makes me sad. How can hurting me to make herself feel good be okay? I don't even know if she understands why she is doing this. Should I break off all ties with her, or just accept that this is who she is and try coping?
Try and think of what life was like for you when you were 20. We deal with these individual milestones differently. You had no older sister to look up to or manage, and being in the shadow of someone can be difficult. This isn't to disparage what you're going through or presume that you had it easier when you were her age; it is simply to point out that relationships between any two people take time to evolve. What siblings share is magical and complicated. She is your sister and will always be part of your family whether you like it or not. To disown her when she hasn't even come to terms with who she really is would be counterproductive and deprive you both of something special as you get older. I suggest you exercise patience.

My boyfriend has an unhealthy obsession with his ex-girlfriend that makes me feel insecure all the time. We have spoken about this a lot, obviously, because I keep telling him that he needs to forget about her. He claims to have no interest in her, and it has been over a year-and-a-half since their relationship ended, but I still find him checking out her social media posts. How do I manage this?
They aren't speaking, and it's obvious that he hasn't been able to put this episode behind him yet. Why not let him work it out of his system in his own time?

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