Want to dump my non-chatty boyfriend

Updated: Apr 02, 2020, 04:29 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I have a close friend who likes me, who always responds to any message I send him

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI have been in a relationship with a guy who has serious issues with communication. He doesn't chat much when we are together, and rarely responds to my texts when we are apart. I have a close friend who likes me, who always responds to any message I send him. I like him a lot too, and often wonder if he is right for me because he talks to me and genuinely listens to what I have to say. Should I end this with my boyfriend and consider a relationship with my friend instead?

You are right to give communication the importance it deserves. What you aren't being sensible about is using it alone as the basis of initiating another relationship. If your boyfriend doesn't talk, and you believe you have reached a dead-end, tell him why this isn't working. To jump into something else without allowing yourself time to evaluate the pros and cons isn't a good idea, as you will simply assume that someone who communicates more is better for you. Why not spend more time with your friend, and figure out how you really feel about him?

This may be a weird thing to worry about, but I know my boyfriend masturbates to porn. He says it is healthy, but I feel as if he is cheating on me. He says he will stop if I find it offensive, but I want him to feel that way on his own. Am I overreacting to this?

Pornography will always be a complicated, divisive subject to talk about in any relationship, because one person's belief that it is exploitative will be countered by another opinion of it being empowering or healthy. There is no solution to this, except for you and your boyfriend to continue talking about it, and arriving at a compromise that works for you both.

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