Want to end marriage, but afraid of my family

Updated: 29 August, 2020 06:12 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

My marriage has been a huge mistake from day one

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI had an arranged marriage after years of refusing to consider a relationship with anyone. My parents and siblings thought it was a great match even though I had reservations, but I agreed because avoiding marriage was starting to get difficult at home. My marriage has been a huge mistake from day one. My husband is not interested in me, doesn’t care about my opinions or feelings, and barely speaks to me. I feel emotionally abused all the time, and spend weeks struggling with depression. I would like to end this and live by myself but am afraid of even suggesting it to my family because of how much they pushed for this. What do I do?

You put aside your own feelings and reservations to make your family happy. It seems only fair that they accept your side of the story and start listening for a change. I understand that this is easier said than done, given the pressure most families place on younger members, but you can’t sacrifice your mental health and happiness beyond a point. If you are afraid of what your family thinks, speak to friends you can trust. Evaluate the financial and other repercussions of ending this marriage and the steps you will need to take to be able to make your next move. Also speak to professionals, because there are support groups online who can give you advice that may help. Lastly, trust your instinct. Don’t make decisions based on what other people think, because this is your life on the line.

My boyfriend wants to end our relationship because there is an age difference of 7 years between us. How can I convince him to stay?

There’s not much you can do if he refuses to think about this rationally. A 7-year gap isn’t strange at all, given that some people have decades between them. Why did he get into a relationship with you if this wasn’t a problem at the start? Give him your reasons and hope for the best.

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First Published: 29 August, 2020 06:13 IST

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