Want to leave my alcoholic boyfriend

Updated: Jan 22, 2020, 07:59 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

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Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy boyfriend has been an alcoholic for as long as I have known him. We have been together for two years, but he had a problem even before we started dating. When we got together, he promised to change. He spoke to counsellors, went to rehab, and took medication, but nothing helped. He stops for a month, then gets back into drinking. I have tried to cope and be supportive, but it has taken a toll on me. He doesn't want me to break up with him, but I can't manage. I don't want to feel heartless, but I can't find a way out. Help.
Ending a relationship that isn't working out isn't being heartless; it's being sensible, because you have to make sure your physical and mental health aren't being compromised. Your boyfriend has a problem, and intervention hasn't helped, which means he needs more help. You have done what you could but won't be able to succeed where professionals have failed. You can choose to stay if you believe your support can help in some way, but it seems as if you have already come to a place where you have to make a decision about how much you are willing to compromise. Your boyfriend hasn't thought about you much but wants you to sacrifice your happiness for him. Make a decision that is right for you.

A close friend of mine has been extremely manipulative for years, and I don't even know if she genuinely cares about me anymore. Should I simply cut her out of my life?
If you don't think she's a friend, chances are she isn't. Cutting people out isn't always a great thing, but it can sometimes be necessary for one's own well-being. If she doesn't play the role of a good friend, she isn't keeping up her side of the relationship. In that case, you're probably better off without her.

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