Want to warn friend of my possessive ex

Updated: Jun 12, 2020, 04:25 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I recently found out that he has been chatting with a friend of mine on Facebook

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

I dated a guy for three years and we were in love until the relationship started to break down. We haven't spoken to each other since we broke up. He is a nice guy, but it was his extreme possessiveness that made it impossible for me to be with him. I recently found out that he has been chatting with a friend of mine on Facebook. They know each other because of me, and she knows I broke up with him, but doesn't know why. I want to warn her, but don't know how she will react because she may think I am just being jealous. He may also think I am being vindictive. What should I do?

If this is a friend you care about, you can always have an honest conversation about what went wrong with your relationship and why it didn't work. It's impossible to assume all relationships have the same dynamic. She may be looking for someone just like him, for instance, so you cannot impose your own notion of what a great guy is like upon someone else. They are both adults and capable of figuring out whether something can work between them or not. As a friend, all you can do is present your side of the story and let your friend decide for herself. He may think you are being vindictive, but this boils down to the kind of relationship you have with her.

My boyfriend is abroad on a work assignment for six months and I am constantly insecure because I think he will fall for someone else. How do I cope with this until he gets back to me?

Ask yourself why you feel insecure, and if he has ever done anything to make you doubt him. If there is no concrete reason, I suggest you focus on using this time away from him positively. Try communicating more and making sure the two of you understand each other better. Time spent apart can often make a relationship grow stronger.

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