We are both bored in our relationship

Published: Sep 21, 2019, 06:22 IST | DR Love |

I think we are both fed up with it but are not doing anything to change because we have grown used to being around each other

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

I have been with the same guy for around six years now, and it is the most boring relationship I have been in. I think we are both fed up with it but are not doing anything to change because we have grown used to being around each other. We considered ending it a few times, but always call each other within a day or two because we can't manage for long without speaking. It seems as if there is no solution to this. What should I do?

The fact that neither of you can manage without the other's presence within 24 hours is a great sign, because it shows how you value each other, not that you are used to each other's presence. If you wanted to break up, one of you would have had the courage to even if the other didn't, so this isn't as simple as dealing with boredom. There are two things you can do in this scenario: Decide to end this, and stick to that decision, or re-evaluate what you both want from this relationship and work towards changing how you both engage with each other. Either way, this is something neither of you appears to have addressed with the seriousness it clearly deserves.

I recently found a second mobile phone in my husband's cupboard and don't know what he uses it for. When I asked him about it, he said it belonged to a colleague. Is he cheating on me?

That is a question you are more equipped to answer than anyone else, given that you know him better than anyone else. Has he given you any other reason for doubting him, now or in the past? Could it really be a colleague's phone? Will giving him the benefit of doubt hurt in any way? Jumping to conclusions is the easiest thing to do, in such a scenario, but isn't always the most sensible approach. If something bothers you, ask for an explanation. If it isn't enough, ask for another one.

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