We are like strangers living under one roof

Updated: Aug 06, 2019, 05:11 IST | DR Love

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We are like strangers living under one roof
Illustrations/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been married for a year now and am beginning to feel as if my husband is using me financially. We don't have a close relationship, because this was arranged, but I assumed we would grow to find a way of loving each other. This hasn't happened and I still feel like we are two strangers living under one roof. My family is well off, so my husband usually speaks to me only when he needs some financial favours from my father. My parents don't have a problem with this, but it bothers me. How do I change this?
Arranged marriages take a while to work precisely because they are engineered and, as such, require time and patience for two people to get to know each other better. If you feel like strangers after a year together, it makes sense to try and cross those bridges first, before you can address the issue related to finances. Tell your husband how you feel, because you have nothing to lose. If he agrees, he will work towards changing the nature of this relationship. If he disagrees, you can always tell him that you are not comfortable with his demands. Either way, having a discussion about this is the only possible way of arriving at a solution, so I suggest you do this even if it is bound to be awkward.

I went on a few dates with a guy and we had an amazing time. I thought we hit it off, but he doesn't really give me any hint of what's going through his mind. I keep thinking he will make the next move, but he hasn't said a word. What do I do about this situation?
If you feel strongly about it, you can either come right out and ask him about what's happening or wait until he has had a chance to think about it some more. Being confused is normal if you are at a place where he isn't, but what happens next is entirely up to you.

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