We are living in, but he won't commit...

Updated: 05 November, 2020 06:24 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

At the same time, I am beginning to question his unwillingness to commit to something more serious, because he never wants to have that discussion

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DR LOveI am a 29-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a guy who is two years older than me for around three years. We decided to move in together a few months ago and have been happy. At the same time, I am beginning to question his unwillingness to commit to something more serious, because he never wants to have that discussion. I am fine with this for now, but don't know how much longer I can manage this. What should I do?

What is your definition of a relationship that evolves? When you mention commitment, are you referring to marriage? If you are worried about how this will change in the coming years, it makes sense to get some clarity now, rather than deal with misunderstandings later. It's obvious that you both want something different from this, even though the current arrangement works. If you have questions for him that he isn't prepared to answer, you can either give him time to come back with a response or give yourself an ultimatum. Either way, this is a decision only you can make based upon how you see things at this stage.

I think I am suffering from relationship anxiety because of the way my girlfriend treats me. She cares about me, but I never feel loved enough. I don't know if this is just her nature, but I am always left feeling as if I am more invested in this relationship than she is, and it makes me sad because I think I will lose her. How can I fix this?

Why aren't you telling her about the way you feel, and trying to find out if she understands? If this is who she is, you may have to change what your expectations from this relationship are. It doesn't make sense to assume the worst and think this will end, unless you give her a chance to acknowledge what you are feeling.

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First Published: 05 November, 2020 06:23 IST

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