'We broke up after she said she never loved me'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My girlfriend recently decided to end our relationship. We were together for over two years, so I asked her why she decided to do this considering things seemed okay to me. Her response was that she had never loved me. She says she got into a relationship with me just because we were good friends and she needed my company for a while. This has hurt me a lot, because the past two years suddenly feel like a lie. I don’t know how to react to it or what to say to her, and I don’t even know if she is saying this just to anger me. I still love her a lot, but can’t imagine even trying to convince her to stay after what she has said. What should I do?
Being hurt is understandable, but I don’t think you should take what she says at face value either. When a relationship turns sour, people have a tendency of saying the worst things possible in order to facilitate the end. Some of these things may be true, but others may simply be a result of anger and resentment that has built up over a period of time. If the past two years were a lie for you, it implies that she was living a lie for two years, too, which sounds like a terrible thing for someone to do. It is a disservice to you both if what she says is true, and that seems unlikely. As for still being in love with her, the best thing to do may be to stay away for a while, to give you both some time to heal and get a sense of perspective. There’s no point trying to convince her at the moment, given how certain she is about ending this, so I suggest you wait for a while. If you don’t feel like trying to convince her after you have calmed down, you can then decide if it makes sense to simply move on.
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