We can't agree on birth control!

Published: 23 November, 2019 06:23 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I think she is being unreasonable, but she says I'm the one being difficult

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

DrI am a 25-year old guy and love having sex with my girlfriend. She always insists on using condoms, but I have a problem with them. I asked her to consider using another contraceptive, like a pill, but she refuses saying it has side-effects that make her uncomfortable. How do we resolve this? I don't want to use condoms, but she says I don't have a choice, and this is starting to affect our sex lives. I think she is being unreasonable, but she says I'm the one being difficult.

I'm not sure what solution you want me to come up with, given that neither of you is comfortable with a compromise. There may be alternatives, obviously, but it makes sense to speak to your doctor or a professional to find out what they are and figure out if they work for you both. Your girlfriend isn't being difficult or unreasonable, because contraceptives are important, and she has a right to not have sex if she's not comfortable with you not using a condom. Try and deal with this like adults.

A colleague at work recently told me she had a crush on me and asked if I would go out for a cup of coffee with her. I turned her down at the time, saying I had never even thought of her romantically. That reaction seemed to crush her, even though I wasn't trying to be mean. I have begun to notice her a lot since then and am starting to get attracted to her. I want to take her up on that offer of coffee, but don't know how to approach her because she just avoids me. What if she hates me now?

If she hates you, she won't go out with you. At the very least, you can find a way of telling her why your feelings have changed and apologise for starting on the wrong foot. Being open and honest is your best shot, so I suggest you reach out to her and ask.

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