We can't agree on household chores!

Updated: 07 October, 2020 05:07 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I don't think of her as a housewife but we both have careers, so we have to do a bit of work around the house from time to time

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI have been married for two years and my wife and I seem to have different ideas about what housekeeping means. She says I don't do enough chores, but I think I do. I don't think of her as a housewife but we both have careers, so we have to do a bit of work around the house from time to time. This is a constant source of friction because she refuses to accept that I pull my weight. I have asked her to tell me what to do and she says I need to figure it out, which only makes me angrier. How do we resolve this? It may only get worse in the future.

This is something only the two of you can figure out, honestly, because an outsider cannot be expected to understand the kind of chores you both do. If she has been saying this for a while, it's obviously something that affects her a lot. I would suggest you try listing down what you both do and comparing that list. It may seem childish, but it will give you both a sense of perspective. Share it with her to make sure nothing is omitted, and so she can contribute as well. At the very least, she will know that you are taking steps to try and resolve this instead of dismissing her concerns.

My boyfriend doesn't give me the kind of importance he gives his friends and drinking buddies. When they have to go out, my feelings don't matter at all. If I call when he is outside, he won't even bother picking up the phone. Should I just accept this?

You don't have to accept anything you don't want to. You are both entitled to your personal space, of course, and he probably treats his time with friends as sacred. Having said that, if you feel neglected, you have a right to point that out and ask him for an explanation. Also, you can both decide when neither of you should call.

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First Published: 07 October, 2020 05:06 IST

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