We don't talk about things that matter...

Published: 09 November, 2019 06:22 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I know she loves me a lot, and I think I would like to spend the rest of my life with her, which is why I want to try harder to communicate better

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveIs there any specific thing two people can do to improve communication between them? My girlfriend and I chat about a lot of things, but somehow manage to avoid the topics that really matter, such as sex, our future, or what we want from each other. Whenever any of these subjects come up, we tend to say shallow things instead of how we really feel, and I think this prevents us from having a deeper, more meaningful connection. I know she loves me a lot, and I think I would like to spend the rest of my life with her, which is why I want to try harder to communicate better. How do we do this?

There isn't a manual or any fixed method on what you can or can't do to be comfortable enough with each other. Talking about topics that one or both of you find difficult to discuss can only happen naturally, with time, as you get closer to each other. If you can't talk about some things now, the best thing to do is put them aside and talk about what you can. Both of you communicating constantly is currently more important than what you talk about.

I had a crush on someone from my office and asked a colleague to introduce us. He ended up telling her I had a crush on her, and now she doesn't even look at me. I didn't do anything wrong, so I don't know if this colleague of mine is to blame for what happened. Is there any way for me to fix this situation?

You can simply ask this person if she would consider going out for a cup of coffee and give you a chance to explain. If she does, that gives you an opportunity to be straight about how you feel. If she doesn't, you may have to accept the possibility that she simply isn't interested, and move on. You have nothing to lose at this point, so asking her out can't hurt.

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