'We keep fighting all the time...'

May 07, 2015, 06:00 IST | Dear Diana

My guy and I have been together for 10 months. We met at a common friend's birthday party

Dear Diana,
My guy and I have been together for 10 months. We met at a common friend's birthday party. We hit it off well and started hanging out. Though we like each other, we keep fighting often. He then stops talking to me for two to three days. We then make up and things are normal till the next fight. I feel the reason we keep squabbling is because we both want different things from our relationship. We fight about everything from spending time with friends to how we feel we are being treated and who spends more money. At times, we even argue about the food to order at a restaurant and which movie to watch. He says I am headstrong while I think he is too dominating. Do we have a future together? At the rate things are going, we will end up having major fights in the future. Should we go our separate ways?
— Manali

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Manali,
What has stopped you from talking with your boyfriend about the constant fights? Instead of cribbing and complaining, you need to tell him what is on your mind. You seem to be struggling whether to stay in the relationship or not because both of you are not on the same page about what you want in the relationship. If you're in love and want things to work out, you both need to listen to each other rather than flare up at the drop of a hat. If you can figure out what you both want from the relationship, things would be better between you two. You need to find a middle path. Instead of gunning for each other at the slightest provocation, try to remain calm till he has had his say. Then put forth what you have to stay. A healthy discussion can avoid unnecessary arguments. But if you can't even sit and talk about your problems, it may be time to move on.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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