We speak only when he wants to

Published: Aug 24, 2019, 05:16 IST | DR Love

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We speak only when he wants to
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been in a long-distance relationship with a guy for six months now, and things are starting to change between us. Earlier, we used to chat for hours and living in different cities wasn't a problem. Now, he chats only on weekends because he says he is busy. I feel as if he is deliberately ignoring me, because my wanting to chat with him is dependent upon his convenience. I asked him about this, and he told me I had to be more understanding. I don't know if this relationship will survive without regular communication and don't know what to do to change this.

Long-distance relationships are always difficult to manage because communication plays a significant role. You're right about this becoming a problem, because it's obvious that you and your boyfriend have different needs and expectations. Chatting at his convenience won't help and he needs to understand that there is a difference between being understanding and being dismissive of a partner's needs. Tell him to try and arrive at a compromise, or things will only get worse.

My girlfriend's brother constantly badmouths me and tells her I am a bad influence, because he knows some of my friends who are admittedly not very good people. I am not like them though, but he doesn't see that because he looks at us as a group. My girlfriend doesn't take his comments seriously yet, but I am afraid he will end up poisoning her mind.

If you believe what he says about your friends being a bad influence, what exactly do you get by hanging out with them? Is there a misplaced sense of loyalty that compels you to be with them? Have you tried speaking to him and your girlfriend about this, admitting that he is partly right, and explaining why you choose to be with them? That may help.

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