'Why didn't he tell me he had doubts about us?'

Updated: Dec 16, 2017, 08:53 IST | Dr Love

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now, during which we have had just one or two minor arguments. We get along really well, enjoy each other's company and share a lot of the same interests

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now, during which we have had just one or two minor arguments. We get along really well, enjoy each other's company and share a lot of the same interests. A few days ago, I noticed he looked troubled and asked him what he was upset about. He said he was beginning to have doubts about our relationship. This hit me like a bolt from the blue because I had never had even thought there was anything wrong. I didn't say anything at the time, but I don't even feel like meeting him now, because I feels like he has been concealing how he truly feels. If he doesn't feel the same way I do, what's the point in continuing this relationship? I always thought we could talk about anything and everything, but what he said has left me shaken. Why didn't he say something earlier, when he first began to feel this way? If he can't tell me what the problem is, how am I supposed to help resolve it?
I don't see why you need to consider abandoning the relationship now, when this is the first sign of a crisis. On the contrary, now is the time when you have to prove just how resilient you are, because this bond you have has never been questioned before. All relationships go through periods of self-doubt, for one or both people involved. If you choose to miss the wood for the trees - which is what you're doing by looking at what he has concealed, rather than what he has just chosen to reveal - you are missing out on the possibility of you both emerging from this a lot stronger. Now is when you have to support him more than ever, and remind him of why you decided to get together in the first place. If you run at the first sign of trouble, how do you ever foresee a future with him?

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