Why do I end up with cruel men?
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
My boyfriend is extremely cruel and makes me feel inadequate all the time. This is the second relationship I have been in that has been this way. My ex-boyfriend was very sweet to me in public but nasty whenever we were alone. I don't know why men are always cruel to me. I am considering not dating anyone again, because it only makes me miserable. Am I doing something wrong? Am I being too pushy or asking for too much, which is making them behave this way? Should I change who I am or how I behave? I don't know whom to talk to about this, and don't want to be in this relationship anymore. How can I find someone who isn't cruel?
First of all, if this relationship isn't working out (and it doesn't sound like it is), the thing to do is end it and give yourself some time and space to heal. It takes a while to recover from something toxic, so I urge you to put yourself first and do what you need to in order to distance yourself from this. Second, I suggest you stop trying to blame yourself for who you are or try to change something about yourself to make someone else happy. Two unfortunate relationships are not a sign of you doing something wrong; rather, they point to poor choices, and nothing more. To date more people and find someone who understands and respects you for who you are is all that matters, and it will happen if you allow it to. Don't let two bad choices put you off dating completely. Take some time off and jump back in when you're ready.
I ended a relationship recently and found out that my best friend has feelings for me. I don't feel that way about him though. What do I do?
Why do you need to do anything? If you don't feel the same way, why can't you simply tell him this honestly? Why ruin a perfectly good friendship?
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