'Why do men never notice me or ask me out?'
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I am a 21-year-old girl in college and I have been wondering about why men never seem to notice me. All my friends have had relationships or are in a relationship, and some have had a number of them over the past couple of years, but not a single guy has ever taken the time to speak to me or ask me out. I don't know if this is because of how I look, or how I dress, or because I come across as intimidating, but I can't seem to figure it out. I have asked my friends about this too, and they don't have an answer. Some of them want me to be more outgoing, but I don't think I'm very reserved to begin with, so I can't do much. I am quite happy with who I am, to be honest. What should I do? Should I simply ask some guy out? Should I ask a few men if they think I'm not interesting enough? This is beginning to affect my self-esteem.
It's fairly common to want attention from the opposite sex and allow a lack of it to affect one's confidence. In that, there are millions of people like you, men as well as women, who share the same anxieties. It's also okay to not be in a relationship if you don't find someone interesting enough, because peer pressure can often compel a lot of people to be with others they don't necessarily like. If you are comfortable with who you are, and don't feel the need to change anything, that's great because a lot of people struggle to find that peace within themselves for a long time. I suggest you simply go about your life without worrying about this too much. A man who wants to be with someone like you will reach out when he is confident enough. Don't bother asking any men about why they don't find you interesting either. You don't need male validation to make yourself feel good.
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