Why is my 50+ wife not interested in sex?

Updated: 08 September, 2020 07:52 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I have a healthy interest in sex and desire physical intimacy, but she often makes it seem as if she is doing me a favour by having sex with me.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr Love

I have a question about women older than 50 being still interested in sex. My wife and I have been married for over 25 years, and are both in our mid-50s. I have a healthy interest in sex and desire physical intimacy, but she often makes it seem as if she is doing me a favour by having sex with me. I don't want to force her, but is this really so bad for women? Until a few years ago she enjoyed it as much as I did. What should I do? I love her and we will live together for the rest of our lives, but should we give up sex altogether?
Why assume she isn't interested without speaking to her about this? Our bodies change constantly, along with the chemicals that make them. Women deal with the onset of menopause differently, and it's impossible for men to try and understand those changes unless they try and empathise. If the two of you have a serious conversation about sex, and speak to a professional who can try and make sense of the changes taking place in both your bodies, it may help you deal with the coming years a lot better. I suggest you stop assuming things and look for some facts instead.

My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for over two years now. Things are okay between us, but he wants me to move to London and marry him. I am uncomfortable with this because it has been two years since we saw each other. How will we adjust to marriage after that separation?
Your fears aren't unfounded, and marriage is a serious commitment that can't be rushed into. Why not try and arrive at a compromise that allows you both to reacquaint yourselves with each other first? Talk to him about moving in, exploring the nature of your relationship after this separation, and then moving forward.

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First Published: 08 September, 2020 06:02 IST


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