'Wife is sweet, but likes violent films!'

Updated: Jun 29, 2020, 07:17 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

Is there something I should worry about or am I blowing this out of proportion? There is nothing wrong with how she treats me, which is why I ask

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveI have been married for two years now, and my wife is one of the sweetest people I have known. Lately, I have noticed something disturbing about her habits though. When we decide to watch a movie on a weekend, she always picks the most violent ones. At first, I thought this was funny, but then I noticed that even the books she reads are always violent thrillers. Is there something I should worry about or am I blowing this out of proportion? There is nothing wrong with how she treats me, which is why I ask.
What exactly are you worried about? Do you think she will get violent with you because of her preferences for violent movies and literature? People turn to something that evokes specific emotions in them because they like it. It's how horror movies work too, giving us a frisson of fear that we enjoy. Her behaviour towards you has nothing to do with how she likes to unwind. Why not ask her about her preferences, try and understand why she is drawn to something, and be a part of that too? What if she has a problem with what you choose to watch or read, and worry that you will bore her to death because of your less exciting choices?

My anxiety and insecurities about a number of things are starting to get in the way of my relationships. This has always been a problem for me, but I realise that I may live a life of unhappiness if I don't try and fix this.
If you are aware of a problem, you are on your way towards fixing it. You need to speak to a professional. There is nothing wrong with anxiety, because we all have to deal with it. It's how you cope that matters. Speak to friends and family, get recommendations about therapists you may feel comfortable with, and you will get through this.

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