'Will I ever win my ex-girlfriend back?'

Mar 23, 2014, 00:28 IST | Dr Roopa Patel

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Q. I was in a relationship with a girl. We were doing really well, but due to some problems, she has left me. I really love her and want her to back in my life. Will she ever come back?
A. You are a combination of numbers 1 and 5, which, in tarot, are represented by the Magician and the Hierophant. The Magician is someone who can go to any extent to get what he wants. He is capable, ruthless and successful. But he must not go overboard. Did you have these issues in your relationship? Are you used to having your way in most things and do not like anyone to think differently? Your extreme reactions, temper, possessiveness and your demands might be too much for her. On the surface, you may try to be conventional, but actually you want your way.

On the other hand, you love her passionately and need her more than she needs you. There is a rare bond between the two of you. I see a harmony at a deeper level. Was it another woman who objected to her? It could be your mother or someone within the family. You have drawn the Queen of Wands in a negative position. You are introverted and closed. Communication could be another problem. You need to judge how much of what I say is true.

Your partner is number 8 and 10, which are represented by the cards of The Strength and the Wheel of Fortune. She would have had some setbacks in life and is looking for security. She seems to be a kind person but, after a point, she can be firm. I think she felt let down by your approach to life and living. She is a good person and she loves you too.

There is a possibility of you winning her back. But you need to introspect and understand your weaknesses and issues. I suggest that you keep your ego aside and go to her. Listen to what she has to say carefully and address her concerns. Win her with genuine openness and transparency.

You need to handle your family first and clear things with them. Here are some areas you need to look at — total commitment to the relationship, communication and transparency, seeing things from her point of view ie listening to her and moderation in all that you do.

Should I be with a married man?
Q. I am a 44 year old Muslim woman. I had a difficult marriage and have now found a Hindu man. He has had a frustrating marriage, too. We want to settle down legally but his wife cause issues for a divorce. He will be transferred abroad soon and wants me to join him there. I am reluctant because I want him to be legally single. Will he get a divorce for us to be married next year?
A. You are absolutely right in not being with him till he is legally free You are a combination of numbers 9 and 11 — The Hermit and Justice. You would have sought Justice much sooner and taken steps to address the situation but for The Hermit who has given you the staying power to understand the situation. Your friend is number 6 and 11. Relationships are important for him and he will try to keep them intact. After a point , he will assert himself and react strongly to the wrong done.

Both of you are number 11 and fire signs — Aries and Leo/Virgo cusp. The cusp makes him more stable. This is the reason for the strong attraction that you feel for each other. I can see from your spread the pain that you have gone through. His wife has appeared as the Queen of Cups who is light-skinned but concerned only about herself. You have not mentioned your husband. Is he a professional who you feel could harm you? You have drawn positive cards indicating success and celebration. Things will work out and he will be able to get a divorce by next year .

Do not be impulsive and keep things low-key. Do not confide in anyone. Wait till things are sorted legally to take action. Do not antagonise anyone and be fair. Do not create bad karma.
Despite of all this, you need to be aware that you are taking a risk. Do so with open eyes. You need to have some independent finance that is in your control. It should be enough to tide you over in case life throws some surprise at you.

Should I remarry?
Q. I am 42 years old, separated since nine years and live with my son. I want to know if I should settle down again. I had some opportunities, but nothing seemed to go right. So, I am not sure if its a good idea.
A. Relationships are important to you as you have the relationship number 6, The Lovers, in your numerological combination. It is your soul card 9, The Hermit, that makes you think twice. The Hermit is a recluse who wants to be self-sufficient and learn from the experience gained. You are on the cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn. Your Tarot spread indicates that you have given up making efforts for a relationship as you are very disappointed. Things have gone wrong for you and I can see that it is taking huge effort to keep some balance in your life.

Despite you negative approach, there is a good chance that you will find a man from a good family who will be able to look after you. Your future will depend on how you deal with him. The King of Wands has appeared in the result position which indicates this. He will be a respectable person, perhaps a widower who is also looking for a companion. For him to become manifest in your life, you will need to change your approach. Please remember that whatever happens, ultimately it is for your highest good. Be grateful for whatever you have as it could have been worse. Create a positive environment and things will change. You have to stop worrying and brooding as indicated by the 9 of Swords in your environment.

I know it is very difficult to accept what I say when you are going through fire and brimstone, but much later, when you look back at things, the judgment will be different. Please meditate on the tarot card number XIX — The Sun — to bring hope, positivity and confidence.

How to meditate:
1. Buy a Rider Waite Tarot Deck and remove the card of The Sun, number XIX

2. Sit in a quiet place. Light a candle and incense.

3. Breathe deeply seven times, inhale and exhale with the card in your hand to centre yourself.

4. Focus the attention on the card and look at it carefully. Register the colours, symbols and feeling that the card evokes. Stay with it.

5. Do this daily for 10 minutes at night. The image of the card must stay with you. Do this every night without a break. Slowly, you will find your life changing. Continue doing it till your problem is resolved.

6. Keep the deck wrapped in silk away from prying eyes, in a private place.

The views expressed in this column are personal and Dr Roopa Patel will not be held liable for any advice given. You could contact her at askroopapatel@gmail.com or call 09867681848

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