Will my salary come between us?
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
Should my salary matter to how my boyfriend looks at me and how our relationship evolves? I don't want it to become an issue.
Why do you think it may become an issue if it isn't at the moment? Monetary issues shouldn't matter if two people in a relationship talk about it like reasonable adults.
I have a great boyfriend who loves me a lot. We have a great time and he is a nice human being as well. The problem is there's something wrong with me that prevents me from appreciating him as much as I should. When we are together, I sometimes find him boring even though we still have a great time. When we are apart, I miss him. I am aware that this makes no sense, but I don't know what to do about it. He knows there's something wrong, but he has been very patient and gives me a lot of space, which only makes me feel guilty about my behaviour. How do I deal with these conflicting emotions? I really want to be with him, and want this relationship to work out, but also think I would be happier by myself or with someone else. Please help me.
It sounds as if you need to spend a little more time by yourself to try and evaluate what you want and why you feel the way you do. Talk to family and friends about it, if possible, because airing these views in public may allow you to articulate why you feel this way a lot better. Also think about listing the pros and cons — an admittedly soulless thing to do — of being with your boyfriend, to get a sense of how important he is to your life. Talk to him about this too, because getting him to understand why you feel this way may change your relationship in some way. To not say anything to him would be unfair, because he is emotionally invested in this even if you aren't.
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