Wise men? Not quite

Apr 10, 2012, 11:04 IST | Tanveer Bookwala

Three Wise Men want to recreate the experience of an English pub. A limited menu, meagre portions and music that is too loud, meant that we came away with a pounding in our heads instead

When we arrive at the location, the irony hits us. 3 Wise Men is located bang across a police station, which is quite amusing. But the dichotomy hits us when we enter, as the loud music makes us want to run back out across the noisy main road, to lodge a complaint. Tone it down, people! Once we settle in, the sound numbing our senses, we look around.

The place is quaint, very English watering hole variety with nice frames of beers, mugs and a variety of alcohol-based photographs. Only one flower portrait stands out as a sore thumb. There is also modern art on the ceiling, which is appealing. The place is huge, with a segregated bar and booths, but tends to fill up quickly.

The Minced Lamb On a Skewer is a lightly spiced kebab

When the bar menu arrives, we are spoilt for choice. While it’s a long list, it features a series of regular drinks from around the world. We’d have liked a few more house specials. We opt for The Daiquiri (Rs 350). The original daiquiri is a mixture of rum, lime, and sugar, served over ice.

Three Wise Men serves it up in style, sans the served on ice bit. The tang from the lime is right and doesn’t leave a bitter aftertaste, as is the rum, which isn’t overpowering. Refreshing. This could be included in an all-you-can-drink night. The Tender Berry (Rs 200) is a fresh strawberry smoothie disguised as a mocktail. Delicious.

The best drink on the non-alcoholic menu. The strawberry crush, grenadine and cream combo will send you reeling with its sweet texture and leave a wonderful aftertaste that lingers long after. But while the bar menu seems never-ending, the food menu is spread over two pages comprising vegetarian and non-vegetarian finger food only.

The Assorted Bruschetta Platter (Rs 150) arrives, bursting with flavours of ripe summer tomatoes, fresh garden basil, and garlic. The bread, however, isn’t well toasted, and is cold. When we complain, our order is replaced and it’s done right this time. The funny thing though, is that all the slices are the same, so the “assorted” in the title left us baffled.

Also, the toasted bread wasn’t glazed with garlic and we would have liked some extra-virgin olive oil on the side to dip the bread in. Variations with spicy red pepper, tomato, vegetables, beans, cured meat, or
cheese would have made the “assorted” platter interesting, because basil, fresh tomato, garlic and onion can only hold your interest for so long.

The Spicy Calamari Rings (Rs 290) were the scam of the century. Typically, fried calamari features squid cut into rings, dipped into flour, spices, and is then deep-fried and served. But, these rings were small enough to look like bottom-of-the-ocean scrap. Tiny, slightly leathery, and gone before you know it. Disappointing.

The Minced Lamb On a Skewer (Rs 320) was a good portion of lamb mince with mild spices, tightly wrapped around a skewer and barbequed. Serve with minted yoghurt on the side. The trick is getting the meat to hold on to the skewers and Three Wise Men pull it off. However, what starts off as tasty and juicy is slightly dry towards the end.

A word of caution: the staff tends to get overwhelmed as the crowds pour in, so arm yourself with adequate patience.

Did you know?
The Daiquiri is a product of late-19th-century imperialism. Its first recorded use was in a Cuban mining town by the same name.

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