World Population Day special: Quirky condoms

Jul 11, 2013, 08:45 IST | Hemal Ashar

Today, on World Population Day, we take a lighter look at certain catchlines for condoms

Today, July 11 2013, is World Population Day. Grim statistics are rolling out about exploding population figures, and the United Nations (UN) has made all those politically correct clucking-in-disapproval (we endorse that clucking too) noises about adolescent pregnancies


We also thought we'd take a lighter look at condom names.

So, here goes our condoms-with-a-quirk list. This paper had run one such list on World Aids Day years earlier, but since then, we think the day befits another. Here is the latex…oops latest one.

So, on this of all days, this columnist is wondering whether specific condoms should have certain catchlines like:

>> The Board for Control of Cricket in India (BCCI) condom: Bowl a maiden over.
>> The cabbie condom: Comes in a colour combination pack of black ‘n’ yellow.
>> The Mee Mumbaikar campaign condom: Can only be bought by the local manoos.
>> The Virat Singh Kohli condom: Hope to score tonight.
>> The Page 3 condom: Look for the designer label on this pack.
>> The Borivali to Churchgate fast condom: I am always your first class choice.
>> The movie-goers condom: No need for advance booking to buy this pack.
>> The global warming condom: So what is wrong with feelin’ hot, hot, hot?
>> The Bombay Stock Exchange condom: (Sen)sex and the City.
>> The Nike sports condom: Just Do It.
>> The Mumbai rickshaw condom: For my ‘fare’ lady.
>> The Bollywood condom: I star in sex scenes only because the script demands it.
>> The weight watchers condom: In a new, slim, compact pack.
>> The chess enthusiast’s condom: Available in two colours -- black or white.
>> The bus commuter condoms: I am the BEST.
>> The estate agent’s condom: I do not cost as much as Mumbai’s real estate.
>> The Mumbai Heritage Society condom: Like our heritage buildings, you need protection too.
>> The cyberspace condom: When everything sort of clicks.
>> The Raymonds condom: We make you the complete man.
>> The gym rat’s condom: Available in a six-pack.
>> The Mumbai University condom: For bachelors and masters too. 

Go to top