'Your crush is busy studying, you should be too'
I am 20 and madly attracted to a girl in my college. I don't think I can live without her, but she is so focused on her studies and career that she says she doesn't even have the time to date me. How do I convince her to marry me?
Q. I am 20 and madly attracted to a girl in my college. I don't think I can live without her, but she is so focused on her studies and career that she says she doesn't even have the time to date me. How do I convince her to marry me?
A. So, you're upset because she wants to study, make a career for herself and be a successful woman. And you believe she should stop focusing on these things in order to devote her life to making you happy. My advice to you, first of all, is to stop abusing the drugs you're on, because they are clearly turning you into a delusional person. Secondly, it wouldn't hurt you to focus on academia and a career either, considering how young you are and assuming you aren't the son of a Bollywood star, in which case the idea of an education or a career that involves thinking will be anathema to you. Finally, getting someone to marry you isn't so much about convincing her as it is about her looking at you as someone worthy of spending her life with. The day she sees you as that person, she won't need much convincing.
Q. How will I know if he is my soul mate?
A. I don't know what a soul mate is, to be honest. What I do know is that every relationship is as good or bad as the people in it. There are good times and bad times, and people who say they always have only good times tend to believe the person they're with is their soul mate. What they don't say is how they both work hard to maintain that relationship, to smooth out rough edges over time and find a balance that gives them both time and space to grow individually while living together. Soul mates understand each other, anticipate each other's needs and wants, and get to a place where they can have conversations without speaking. If you're at that point, you won't need a columnist in a newspaper to tell you about it; you will know.
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