Mental Health Awareness Month: Mother-Son Therapist Duo’s One-liners from Over 5,000 Sessions

Alpana Awasthi and Aditya Awasthi are a motherson therapist duo who run The Thought ClinicldquoThe paradox of increasing mental health awareness is that whenever you read about a mental health problem and its symptoms you almost always realise you have itrdquo says Alpana Awasthi a psychotherapist with over 12 years of experience and the founder of The Thought Clinic Aditya her son and a RECBT practitioner joins in to say ldquoThere are only a few really bad therapists in the world that I wouldnrsquot recommend to anyone Google Instagram TikTok and Alcohol Never take their diagnosisrdquoMental health awareness today is both a milestone and a minefield More people are talking but fewer are doing the work More people are aware but still unsure what to do with that awarenessHere are 10 most impactful lessons the duo have shared with hundreds of their clients10 Therapy doesnrsquot work you have to make it workldquoTherapy is not an Uber ride You donrsquot pay sit back and arrive somewhere betterrdquo says AdityaInsight is not healing Knowing is not change Talking is not action Therapy is work Think of it as a project where your therapist is your teammate and the project is your life The most important work actually happens between sessions Awareness alone doesnrsquot change lives practice does9 You CAN change and that too biologicallyldquoYou are not lsquojust like thatrsquo You are how yoursquove been trained to be The good news You can be trained againrdquo says AlpanaThe human brain is not a fixed structure Neuroplasticity which is the brainrsquos ability to rewire itself is one of the most hopeful things about being human The way you think can change the way you feel and over time it can even change the way your brain functions We often say ldquothis is just how I amrdquo but science disagrees Yoursquore not stuck yoursquore always in motion and therapy helps steer that motion in the direction you want8 You canrsquot ldquoescaperdquo bad feelingsldquoYou can be sad in Sydney and angry in Amsterdam Emotions can be ignored not escapedrdquo says AlpanaTherersquos a growing obsession with ldquoescapingrdquo stress whether itrsquos through travel socialising bingeing or substances But a change in scenery does not guarantee a change in emotional state You can be surrounded by friends and still feel alone The true secret of mental health lies in the number of things you can do while sitting in the same room as distress before you jump to run out of that room7 Therapy is not only for times of distressldquoComing to therapy only when you are feeling bad is like sending your car for service only when it breaks downrdquo says AlpanaWaiting for a breakdown to seek help often leads to deeper more complex issues Therapy can be proactive not just reactive It can help you work on your goals build healthier habits improve relationships and prevent crises In fact most highperforming highachieving individuals continue working with therapists and coaches even when they are not in distress because therapy also helps them achieve their developmental goals Thatrsquos why they have a therapist on their speed dials6 The goal of humans is to be rationalldquoWe werenrsquot born to be ruled by moods Thatrsquos why evolution gave us a prefrontal cortexrdquo says AdityaContrary to popular belief wersquore not meant to live at the mercy of our feelings The prefrontal cortex the rational part of our brain evolved to help us think clearly and act purposefully Extreme emotionality is often mistaken for intensity or authenticity but thatrsquos not what makes us human What does is our ability to pause reflect and choose a helpful response5 Almost all problems are interpersonalldquoMost people come to therapy because someone in their life doesnrsquotrdquo says AlpanaThe psychologist Alfred Adler once said ldquoAll problems are interpersonal relationship problemsrdquo And he wasnrsquot wrong Whether itrsquos anxiety selfesteem issues or anger the root is often tangled in our relationships Our early dynamics and current triggers are mostly rooted in our relationships Therapy works best when focused on that space between you and the people in your life4 You can be loved and still hate yourselfldquoStop making your hatred for yourself your partnerrsquos jobrdquo says AlpanaDonrsquot expect your partner to carry what you havenrsquot unpacked Thatrsquos not intimacy Thatrsquos dependence Itrsquos unfair to expect a partner to constantly affirm or rescue you from your own insecurities While relationships can be supportive theyrsquore not a substitute for personal healing Therapy teaches you how to make your relationships about sharing each otherrsquos lives not saving each otherrsquos lives3 Hypocrisy is also a skillldquoHypocrisy is the secret to mental health because it helps you not take yourself too seriouslyrdquo says AdityaMore often than not we get stuck playing a character As Albert Ellis used to quip When someone asks me ldquoHow can I do this hellipbe this hellipsay thisrdquo I calmly say ldquoeasilyrdquoWe are allowed to change our opinions actions and behaviour if that can help us without harming others The resistance we feel in doing that is our brain being lazy not wanting to work and therefore sticking to patterns A large part of working on yourself is about contradicting yourself whenever it is helpful and changing again when it stops being helpful2 Rest and fun also need planningldquoSurprises are great But plans working out is also not badrdquo says AdityaOne of the biggest missing life skills is resting and enjoying In fact most people donrsquot realise these are skills We always want rest and fun to be spontaneous and sufficient we want it to ldquohappen to usrdquo but we should really try to ldquomake it happenrdquo We want sleep to come automatically and be restful and we expect friends to automatically come to our house party Like with other necessary activities in life we shouldnrsquot depend on luck for rest and fun instead make them a part of our todo list Planning doesnrsquot make rest any less restful or joy any less joyful instead it makes us better at both those activities1 Who is a good therapistldquoA good therapist is one who becomes increasingly unnecessary for you with sessionrdquo says AdityaTherapy is not dependence Any therapist worth their salt is always focused on how to make their clients independent and skilled in dealing with the problems in their future It is natural be a little dependent on your therapist in the beginning but with time a good therapist will ensure they become useless in your life Which is why therapy needs to be about getting better instead of just feeling better otherwise its as good as a coping mechanism for stress like gossipBONUS Life can also be easyAlpana and Adityarsquos mentors Shishir Palsapure Rohan Pande and Yogita Chhablani used an analogy during their training which has stuck with themldquoWe all know that we have a marathon to run Now you can either get on the track and run or you can get on the track carry a 10kg bag on your back and then start running Aditya recountsThat 10kg bag is filled with irrational beliefs outdated coping patterns and unhelpful emotions Most of us are not broken wersquore just burdenedldquoUnburdening that 10kg bag thatrsquos what we do as therapistsrdquo says AlpanaAlpana Awasthi started her career in psychology in her 40s an age when most people start planning their retirement while being a stayathome mother of two children In 2019 she founded The Thought Clinic httpswwwadityaawasthicomthethoughtclinicShe is certified by the Albert Ellis Institute New York and Beck Institute Philadelphia She is an expert in REBT CBT DBT ACT and LGBTQIA affirmative Counselling She inspired her son Aditya to get certified in CBT and REBT to help with his consulting trainings and coaching Together they have been working on mental health with individuals as well as organisations government and defence departments and nonprofits around the globe

Mental Health Awareness Month: Mother-Son Therapist Duo’s One-liners from Over 5,000 Sessions

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Home / Buzz / Article / Mental Health Awareness Month: Mother-Son Therapist Duo’s One-liners from Over 5,000 Sessions

Mental Health Awareness Month: Mother-Son Therapist Duo’s One-liners from Over 5,000 Sessions

Other Articles

Mid-Day Fast